He Restores My Soul…If I allow it.

My value system is like gravity; pulling me toward what I believe deep down is really of high worth:
For my detriment or, for my eternal bliss.

For my further wounding, or for my self-certainty and self-love

Every second I am being asked in one way or another: What do I truly value?

If my inner compass is broken because it can’t guide me to green pastures and still waters because it was created for the survival of the wounded little girl where do I go?

Well…. my truth is that I was lead there many times by The Lover of my Soul but I never stayed because I didn’t feel like it was my rightful place. That peace was too good to be true. I wasn’t worthy. Certainly someone  else had been through much more and deserved that space. I have more striving to do. Certainly I can’t let go of all these comfortable chains that now fit into my skin so well they have become apart of me, and I wouldn’t know myself without them. Fear of transformation. Green pastures for me? All that fresh air, relaxation, rest? Still waters for me? All that constant fulfillment and quenching my every thirst?

We perish beginning at a cellular level. There is usually deep-seated hurt, fear, and disconnection at the root, from being birthed into such an emotionally dishonest place, but there’s a purpose for that. Reality is bliss. There is nothing to escape from, only deeper to sink in…getting rooted in love. Groundation.  I pray that you  just as I ..continuously get to the cells. Our cells is literally where we hold ourselves in bondage.. a truth hidden in plain sight.

We have soul lessons to learn here on this earthly plane, and no amount of “spirituality” will allow you or I to escape it. I don’t feel the earth is a trap house. I did when I wasn’t in my renewed self. It feels like hell on earth when you have decided to dwell in the dysfunction of your youth, and you shut off your intuition, and you decide to become a doormat to demons.

Mostly we fear what other people fear. Mostly we stop daring to BE because we received so many looks of shame (truly, and perceived) when we stood in our power.

Strong- willed women set the world ablaze. Old cells die. Let them.

Who the Son sets Free is not just free:

But free.. INDEED=ABSOLUTELY, CERTAINLY, EASILY, NATURALLY, REALLY, SURELY, TRULY, UNDENIABLY, VERY MUCH, FOR REAL!!

Freedom is eternal only if there is a continuous choosing.

It has taken me a while to digest that.

 

 

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