When you get in a car accident though you don’t feel the effects in your body immediately some of the time (depending on the severity of the accident) you are always advised to go to the hospital immediately….
Grief can be like this.
Sometimes we don’t feel the effects of the ending of a marriage, a death of a loved one, moving away from family, a loss of a job, a loss of identity from abuse, life changes, life cycles, leaving the unfamiliar to launch anew, and many more changes in life until days, weeks, months and sometimes years after the event has taken place.
Grief rituals are an integral part of healthy community in African Tribes, and other indigenous peoples who have conserved their culture. Most of them say that you can’t have true joy until you’ve truly grieved. They also teach that if a person doesn’t grieve regularly they will be a cancer to the community, eating away at it’s life force.
When I received these divine messages I then began to reflect on my own life, and recount my many losses/transitions/cycles/deaths, and then I thought about how many of them I actually grieved….not many.
In western society we are so much “on the go”, which helps reinforce emotional dishonesty because emotions are fluid, and not subject to our version of “time”, and so we repressed, and oftentimes without realizing it. Jobs don’t offer long enough leave for bereavement, or maternity leave. If you happen to be going through a spiritual transformation no one is going to give you time off for that. Very disassociating.
I don’t think people should have to choose between working, and grieving because in healthy communities both are able to take place, and everyone benefits with this system in place.
No wonder there is so much heard-hardheartedness, lack of intimacy, and violence in our communities. When you truly begin to feel you see how removed, and disconnected ones are. Our people lack empathy, and sympathy in many ways because we can’t give our brother or sister what we haven’t given self. If I haven’t embraced and grieved my deaths, and fully embraced my ressurections how can I relate, and be motivated to find creative ways to encourage my loved ones to do the same? If us as women go through cycle after cycle without grieving each one how can we be sensitive to our sisters births, deaths, and re-briths, and honor, AND wholeheartedly be sensitive to them emotionally and celebrate those times in their lives?
On this part of my healing journey I am finding the importance to prioritize grieving. I am establishing my own grief rituals with the realization that it’s no one’s responsibility to get to the root of my pain but me. It’s only as I swim to the depths and I able to truly inJoy the heights, and what I realize is both contain bliss.
(I just got a vision of a painting ) 🙂
I also realize that a lot of people use numbing agents, and I was there too with alcohol, sacred herbs, food, “entertainment”, sex and more, and so when we’ve been healed to make changes we have to connect with a community of others that refuse to numb the pain. That refuse to hide the anger, the hurt, the trauma, and the feeling s of isolation, and actions of deep self neglect. But if we haven’t yet found that group of people we need to establish our own grief rituals to gift ourselves with emotional body healing. There are so many things to grieve, but once you begin you will find that it flows like water, and you feel a deep sense of freedom and true happiness because of willingness to accept what was and dive in to swim to the new horizon.